Dignity or Memory?

I was force to sacrifice one of it, my dignity or to keep a not too bad memory. In order to protect my dignity, I kept my promised and carried out what I promised everyone and ruined my memories of my secondary school. The worst is.... I did not fail the way normal people will failed the task ended in a "comical" way...... Right now, I know one thing for sure.... Im on my own now....... there is no doubt.......... Well, I learnt my lesson, sometimes the truth hurts, its best to not know anything I guess..... Guess, I have to move along, but I don't feel like it, it hurts too much to move along. Have to admit, this may be the BOLDEST and the most EMBARASSING thing I have ever done... To make things worst, my friends laughed in my face and it felt dreadful. I know I have failed countless times, so many times that other people do not dare to rely on me on anything, well this may be one of the worst failure...... Am I always destined to fail? But I know one thing for sure, I will try to take the risk again, it may be painful, but I will not be a coward anymore, come on, world, reject me all you want, I will come back every single time!!!! Despite what I said.... I think the winter in my heart now is not showing any sign to give way to spring..... Conclusion is, life sucks, reality sucks, perhaps the only world that is great is the world reverse of our world....... Once again, Im going alone...............