Better than everything else.

Well, my results for the first term was crappy. But I ensure everyone, I will not get this kinda result for the STPM, I will score a GPA of 4.0. Yes, straight As, and not just any As, the As of the finest quality. I know I have never accomplished something like that in the past, but I have to push myself to the very limit. I don't have any other choice now, my pride is at stake. Oh yea, and I am going to participate in 3 quizzes, Physics, Chemistry, and Math, I have to do well in those three quizzes too. So, here it is. I WILL GET A GPA OF 4.0 FOR STPM THIS YEAR!!!!!

Reality!?

I am so sick of the world... All the rules, everyone trying control people, telling people what to do, what not to do. And I find the world a boring place after trying to visualize what lies ahead, I graduate, then I go to another university, what then? Will anything change? And looking back into the past made me realized one thing, I wasted a lot of time. While people are doing things that can only be done when they are young, I was just sitting around doing nothing. And again, the world.. Would it be fun if you can just interact with other people easily just like in the games? Or go on an adventure like the ones in games? The perfect world, the wonderful world where you will never feel lonely, where you will never feel vulnerable, where no one will annoy you, where no one will get in your way. Gosh, wouldn't it be nice if that is the reality?

Combo

ARGH!!! When I think about shutting down my laptop, I think about my procrastination, then when I think about that, I will think about my research, which I didn't touch yet, then when I think of that, I will think about my studies, then when I think of it, I will think of school, then when I think of school, I will think about crap(metaphorically speaking, mind you), then this is where everything starts to be annoying, I will think about what might happen if I failed the exams, then I will start thinking about my past failures, then I will think about the stuff that happens in my life that disgusts me and annoys me(around 98% of the stuff that happened), then I will think about the chances of it happening to me again, then I will hope for a miracle to happen, only to shun it off as the chances of that happening will be around 0.000000001%(roughly), then I will get all depressed again, then I will turn of the laptop, lie down on my bed, being depressed, escaping into the game world where everything goes my way and then I sleep when I am tired. This is basically how I procrastinate. Note: The part about shutting down the laptop may change.

Well, I spent these few days playing Runefactory 3, it was fun. Storyline, gameplay and graphics are very nice. What matters the most was.. It helped me see the world from a different perspective, perhaps I will be the one who will understand what I meant.

Summary of 2010

The year is almost ending. When I look back, I can see that this whole year was merely nonsense. I spent the first half of the year being extremely desperate to go school. After that, when I started school, I realised that the thing I've always wanted since the starting of this year is a bunch of bullshit. My grades are failing, the school sucks(I am telling you, I hate it there!). The only good thing that ever happened to me was the end of the year holidays.... I just can't believe it, one year was wasted just like that. Well, guess what? The bunch of bullshit I mentioned earlier? It has a part 2, but it only gets worst... I have to suffer another year of bullshit+a bonus at the end of the year! This time.... I really have to do something about my failing grades and not put my sufferings to waste. I sure missed the good old days...

You know, I think I have problem communicating with other people. This has gone from bad to worse since form 1. I mean when people are bored, they chat with their friends, but me, I can't seem to know what to talk about, additionally, I find myself quite boring... I also have another problem, I always end up at places I don't like, end up with people I don't like nowadays, maybe I took the everyone from last time for granted, eventhough I used get left out. Geez.... The worst is, why am I letting this get in my head!? I've always thought that by being alone, studies will be okay, but now, I realised one thing, its not easy being all alone, there is no one, absolutely NO ONE, who could help you when you encounter some problems in your studies. Or there are also times when you need someone to motivate you to study and improve yourself, this will also be a problem, why? Because no one can help. Argh, I wish there is a way to solve this.

I don't know about anyone else, but I think finding for someone who like the stuff I can like and not piss me off an impossible task. I mean, what kind of people likes to study what I study and is interested in what I am interested in while being someone I don't mind hanging out with.... People just made it look so simple... Will this last forever!?