If you want me to be a nerd, I will always be your nerd, forever and ever. by Goh Jian-Yong

Todays fishing trip was kinda fun. Firstly I met up with wei xin at 1 utama as planned as went to have our breakfast at a mamak store. Not long after we finished eating we went to centrepoint to pick up yu beng, who is there because his mother was in a rush. After that, we spent a long time finding for the fishing place. The funny thing is, the place is located near the kelana jaya giant and we ended up going to subang jaya. =.= After a long search, we finally found the place but it only opens after 3.00p.m , what kinda people will start fishing at that hour? So in the end, wei xin decided to go to the one at sungai buloh. Right before we leave the fishing pond at kelana jaya, jian-yong called and asked us to pick him up from centrepoint. We picked the kid up and went on the journey. At first, wei xin wanted to try the fishing pond right behind his aunts house, but its gone I think, so we went to another one where wei xin didn't know where is it mentioned by him earlier. After looking around, we finally found the place. But the thing is, the fishing there is quite expensive, so we shared the rods among ourselves. At first, all of us has no idea how to toss the bait out since we don't have any experiences and wei xin had never used this kind of rod before. Luckily, a man came and taught us how to fish. But after fishing for quite sometime, nothing was biting, maybe there were, but we just didn't know it. We wasted a few baits by tossing the bait too hard that it flew of the hook. So I got bored and started playing with jian-yong's rubics cube. All of sudden, something was caught by the hook on our rod( me and jian-yong). Wei Xin and Yu beng saw that and came to assist us while another man nearby came to teach us how to reel it in, but it got away in the end. Not long after, I think that man caught the fish. While I am unaware of anything, wei xin saw a fish swimming near the shore, so he used the net and caught it.... Thus, we caught a fish due to luck. After that, we sat there and chat but nothing was caught on the hook eventhough the bait goes missing after we reeled it in. Not long after, our time limit is up and we went out of the fishing grounds. Wei Xin, Yu Beng and Jian-yong split the fish among themselves since I find it quite wasteful to give me the fish since my mom wouldn't be cooking it in this few day and I had bad experiences with moving around with a raw fish nearby me thanks to someone *er hem* Aaron *. Wei Xin sent yu beng to a clinic since his mom is there and sent me and Jian-Yong to smk bu3. Once we entered the school, some of jian-yong's junior greeted him when they saw him and it was funny since they referred him as Sir. We walked around the school, and my heart nearly jump out(metaphorically speaking) when I saw her...... Sheesh, I'd rather not see here at all.Anyway, after a while I got bored of the school and wanted to leave but jian-yong didn't want to since its drizzling, so I left him there. So there I was, walking home in the rain, its kinda cool if you ask me, but I heard something behind me all of sudden and it was jian-yong. Once I saw him and talked for a bit, it started raining heavily(is he some kinda rain child?), so we ran towards Mcdonalds and sat there while jian-yong waits for his father and sisters. I got a message from my driving instructor that my driving lesson is postponed, haiz... I have to wait longer now... After chatting for a while, jian-yong's father came and we parted our ways........ Once I reached home, I took my bath and went to bed since I was freakin tired. Oh and by the way, I heard the same song three times today(or yesterday) and it was freakin annoying.

After complaining of being bored this whole time, I realised that wasn't really the real problem I have. The real problem lies in my heart. All this time, I was just lying to myself that I was bored. Maybe in the beginning of the year, like for the first 10 days, I was just bored. I was bored of being bored after a while and stopped being bored. In the end, my real problem was the fact that I am all alone, still stuck in the past while everyone proceeded to the future. They have new hobbies, new stuff to do, new friends, new stuff to study and everything new. At the mean time, all I was doing was to sit at home doing nothing. I am aware that some friends who even bothered to care told me to go find a job, but working isn't something I wanna do now, all I want is just to study like last time with friends and have fun and joke around. Geez, I just made myself more depressed after thinking about my future school.... Lets see, I guess I am going form 6, where it will get very lonely for me, not to mention I am still stuck with general paper. The only thing that comforts me would be form 6 being VERY challenging and I will be able to concentrate more since, well, I will be alone after all.
Man, its hard to change like everyone else, everyone seemed to be able to socialise more since they went college, or where they like that since last time just that I didn't notice. Guess no one cared anyway, I am just a nobody.

78723491

This is the time where I will finally issue war.

Stuff I will never study because I dislike them:
A. Business (You don't have to study to do business)
B. Hospitality( Not against cooking though, I love cooking,but learning how to serve?Definitely a no no)
C. Accounting(Whats the point of counting
D. Anything related to history( I don't care about the past unless its interesting)
E. Law (I hate rules)
Common reasons why I dislike them: Imagine being stranded in an island, will any of these save you? As I said, I didn't include cooking.

So what if you earn big in the end, but you have to know one thing, money can't buy everything even though its the thing that most people want, and its also the thing that is as powerful as "love".

Subjects I love are the ones with cold hard facts(not statistics, as it exist because of humans), what I love are the studies about nature and matter as they are there long before humans exist.

April blues

Crap, its the beginning of april and I am still stuck in this situation.
Ever wonder what happens when you ask for help, no one hear you? You can ask me, but not here,I am saying this 'cause a certain someone I know who actually reads this will do it here.
Let me tell a story, just joking, at least it not on this blog, I will update the other one soon, I didn't touch it since July last year. I missed quite a lot this year, scratch that, did I say quite? I mean I missed out a whole lot. Sheesh, every single year, during april fool, I will prank people, but looks like its not gonna happen anymore. To be frank, I didn't know I'd say this, but I kinda missed my class from form 5, no, its my friends from form 5. I may not enjoy the whole year, but they became the reason why I can still be happy sometimes. Sadly, now, its nothing but sweet memories.

Into the world unknown.

When I look around, I see everyone enjoying their life,
though this may be wrong, but I have this sinking feeling in my heart,
I guess this is because I am alone,
and I will be alone facing the unknown world that lies ahead of me,
is this what I am destined to do? Always facing the unknown?
Maybe this is why everything seems like a dream when I have friends with me,
maybe it is a dream from the start and I just woke up from this dream.
I have to meet more new people with new me again I guess.


And I just realised one thing, this happens to me every single time I graduate.

Stay away from me.

Its approaching me, I can feel its breath behind my neck, I thought I escaped from it after form three but I was wrong. Its still following me, guess it is impossible to run from my failure, I must do what people must do when out of option, overcome the failure.

Every being seeks to be whole by doing something important. An empty
heart feels the same, its incomplete and seek completion. An empty heart
is just like an empty room at night, looking into that room is just a sad sight.
There are lots of way of completing the empty heart, just like there are many
ways of filling up the room. But the weirdest thing is, sometimes, when the heart is
whole, it will miss being empty, being incomplete.